At Least the Gym is Cheap

To me, a bad day running/biking/training/playing outside is better than a good day at the gym. But, sometimes the reality of being an adult on planet Earth necessitates that I don’t have time to be outside during daylight hours (the whole employment thing) so I head to the gym.

Here’s the highlight of going there: It is $18 a month.
Here’s the lowlight: Pretty much everything else.

I don’t know what to do at the gym. Lifting? I sort of make it up as I go along while simultaneously boring myself to death. Elliptical? I swear that sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine burns more calories. I sometimes break out the dusty rowing skills from college and erg a bit but it’s just not the same without a coxswain screaming.

That leaves the treadmill. When I am on it the only thought in my head is this: When in the hell can I get off of this thing? I run 5ks at race pace, do 800 repeats faster than I can on the track and, during the 7 feet of snow last winter, did long training runs at sub-marathon pace. Such a chore. The motivation of getting the miles in as fast as possible in order to be able to stop keeps me going.

That, and the entertainment of the whacks who run/do something vaguely akin to running near me. Take tonight, for example. I was doing a quick 2 miles (after doing 6 crunches and 2 bicep curls) before going home to eat tons of home-made pizza Bill was making. The gym I go to has approximately 6,879 treadmills, all in working order, all exactly the same. Only 3 were in use at the time.

A dude stood in front of me just about the whole time I was running, asking me every 45 seconds if I was almost done because he wanted to use the exact treadmill I was on. I could have easily moved to the one next to me, but I didn’t wanna. Apparently the treadmill I used was the one he uses every day at the exact same time and now he thinks he owns it. Weirdo.

My other favorite thing: Dudes who are really, really concerned with the pace of people around them. Especially if the people around them are girls. My favorite: The guy who checked out my pace, jacked up his pace higher, and then STOOD ON THE SIDES of the treadmill. He didn’t run one step. After about 5 minutes he turned the machine off and went away. Ok, sir. Good exercising there.

Until I am willing to build my own gym in my pea-sized house, though, I will try to be a good citizen of the gym.

That is all.